Article Category Archives: Poetry

the end of the world (three poems)

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fault lines

i shake my fists at the imaginary monster living in the sky and i hurl a list of insults and complaints into his beady eyes i tell myself it’s his fault that the world is getting hotter and species are going extinct and there’s plastic in the ocean i write a letter and mark it urgent outlining every reason why he has ruined our chances of survival he rolls over on his side and i can see his scaly back and he is content to ignore my righteous manifesto and i tell myself it’s not my fault i don’t have blood on my hands and really this whole situation is beyond my control and the monster gets up he seems almost amused and i wait for him to reveal his grand schemy plan but his pad of paper is just filled with scribbles and i ask him why he has to be so cruel and he points to my bold circular lines and begs please get me out of this game

The Plant in the Disability Office

The plant that was sitting on the desk beside the woman who was sitting in the chair was starting to fall over. I entered the disability support office to hand in the piece of paper that says I have not worked in the last thirty days. The light in the office is like a giant refrigerator humming with claws. I ask the worker to make a copy of the sheet of paper and I stare at the plant which is falling over. Someone must have thought a little green would do the office good but the plant wasn’t so sure. There was no sunlight in the office and there was no rain. I wanted to ask the plant what it was like growing towards one side inside of a government building. But the plant and I—we pretended we did not know each other. And I stared at the faces of people who needed money just like me and wondered if they also noticed that the plant was dying. The woman behind the counter passed me my copies and I smiled at the plant. We nodded in agreement that this is what happens to life around here. I wanted to return the plant to an imaginary garden planted outside the government building but there was no garden. Only cement and steel. I wanted to say I am on the side of the plants. But this building was built to feed me. And I have concrete in my throat. And as I walked out of the building I felt my head tilt to one side and my eyes start to droop. But I’d been given food to eat. So I do not eat the plant.

the end of the world

when the end of the world comes and all of existence explodes into a ball of heat what will happen to me? i sense fear crawl up my spine and i wonder when the end of the world comes who will be the next elite? i try to be optimistic realistic and discount the language of experts call science the new religion but i’m still wondering when the end of the world comes what will happen to people like me who live with a disability and rely on the system? i try not to be selfish because it breaks my heart the planet is dying and i often prefer trees to humans but i can’t help but wonder when the mountains collapse and the icicles rise to the sky and the forests become a giant circle of fire what will happen to me? i don’t need much just a little apartment with my cat and my computer but what will i have to offer if the world goes to war from scarcity and i can barely make it down the block without being torn apart? i try not to think of the end of the world try to be realistic optimistic tell myself i also have support from family and try to focus on the present breathe in breathe out but the truth is i feel so small in the face of impending catastrophe i don’t want to be selfish as i rise to the microphone with my one final question for people in power but i have to ask if the end of the world comes what will happen to people like me?

Photo of felt suit by Marjolein Dallinga

Les Chaises by Marjolein Dallinga (felted wearable art)

Re-Wilding Under Those Conditions

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Re-Wilding Under Those Conditions


Stick this time – as in, half-formed century – with a pin
                       into the butterfly thorax, into embolism:
        there is not a word in every language for
                   extinction event
     but sometimes there are           a few words for burning
                  neiamgla'tijig,          they appear burning
nu'gwa'l'g,              I set it
                          on fire
                   gaqoqtegl,                  they are
                                 burned through
a cathedral into skeleton
      irritation into sensation
               ozone into nothing
       and it’s not just forests – nipugtl – that burn, that fall
and it’s not just the prisoners whose hands
                         hold this water
                                  hold this     this water they hold
                                                for no money, for nothing –
                            
Mu' nugu' pugweltnug       nipugt esgwiaq ula gm'tginug.
There isn't much forest left    here in our territory
           but there are          ashes, remnants,
                     golf courses    smoking in cinders
                    more beautiful                  than barbed wire
                             on any clear-skied day, by far –
                                  what is more beautiful than
                                      every       golf course burning
                                        and re-wilding with the
                                            things that grow
                                                 under those conditions
                                                     (wildflowers probably?
                                         mushrooms and moss and all of it –               
blooming      like seizing)
              after the fire was gone             after hands
                                    held water           and mansions
                                             became lanterns     
                     a snake        
                                    was found           jaws open and
                          hissing              having bitten
                                         the fire
                                                      as it burned
Painting by Tracey Metallic showing two Indigenous women kneeing in front of a small plant.

Offerings by Tracey Metallic

Turning: a climate grief poem

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Turning: a climate grief poem

 

It's grief,
alright.
the same burning arrow
through the heart's gills
the same stone weight
of emptiness   — loss
	of words
	of what to do
	of a place
 
     that doesn't ache
Painting by Ildiko Nova showing a woman crying a river, a city, mountains, airplane

Broken Harmony by Ildiko Nova

the way the living room,
the bedroom and the kitchen
ache

we are accomplices
to our own undoing
everytime we flip
	a switch
 		we flinch
each cup of tea
	each text

a word burning in the air

	will we ever heal again?

our fly-covered hopes,
the dreams 
we stole from others, our dreams —

are kindling for the Great Disaster

we scratch at chimneys
the smoke that bleeds 
from them, our blood.

	words can't heal this
	they never could.

but if we turn, as one —
	a murmuration 
	or a school of herring

We might staunch the wound
And quench the burning 

the things that
creature bodies know
(we need each other)

the things that words,
 	together, know,

they cannot heal us
but they can turn us —

one mind in many bodies,
a wise mindlessness
or mindful bodyness

toward the cool 
places
where undying 
grace is.

Show People

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Author’s Note: This poem is quite personal to me, as it highlights many of my experiences in musical theatre as a teen. In fact, I chose to reference specific musicals I was in (e.g., I played the witch in a production of Into the Woods). As a young adult trying desperately to find a sense of identity and build self-confidence, theatre helped me immensely by allowing me to take on roles larger than life. The more comfortable I got on stage, the more comfortable I became with myself. In this poem, I tried to capture all the feelings of being a young actor, from the anticipation to the nerves to the joy of performing.

*

Show People

A palpable suspension of disbelief
audience of skeptics enthralled beyond conscience
façade in foundation, shade: too light.
beauty mark drawn high on a supple cheek
A trill of a piccolo and—
My cue.

This is what I live for.

Left wing. Downstage. Head high. Smile bright.
Stand. Deliver. Pace with purpose.
A punchline landed a thousand times in rehearsal,
punctuated with rich laughter for the first time;
a flickering triumph as I listen

This is what I live for.

A fly comes down—it’s the roaring 20s
Underground speakeasy upstage of bar stools
I am the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow
Giggle juice in hand, fringe dress a-flutter
A glistening sheen of sweat as I Charleston

This is what I live for.

The fog whirls in—it’s a Sondheim fairy-tale
Enchanted forest of burlap plagued with tragedy
I am the bringer of evil, conjurer of curses
Hunched in all black, deceptively frail
A menacing scowl as I beguile

This is what I live for.

The curtains drape. It’s over.
Local theatre dimly lit, upholstered in red velvet
I am your daughter, your friend, your demure student
Swelling with emotion a stage cannot contain
An unfaltering smile as I bow

This is what I live for.

Recurring Dream

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Recurring Dream

I’m in the wings, downstage right,
opening night. Old proscenium stage,
heavy dark curtains. Invisible
on the other side a full house, expectant,
sound waves like surf on a pebble beach
swelling, ebbing, swelling. Dust,
sweat.

House lights fade to black.
Silence.

Someone comes up behind me. Who?
I can’t see. Sudden adrenalin — every hackle
shivers alert. Oh, Christ. What’s my first line?
Who am I? Fumbling for costume cues, my hands
sweep my body, meet naked flesh.
What show is this?

Dark curtains open on a growl.
Behind me, urgent, someone hisses
Go! Go! pushes me on stage. Lights up.