Archives

The Idea for this Novel

This entry was posted on by .

The Idea for this Novel

Came to me out of the blue–No
When the news reported that drones
Would be delivering Amazon packages

I thought about the spread
Of dinners, care packages and
Toiletries–No

Need to ever to get a drivers license, I think, since
The novel future is about how we are forced inside
Because the air is bad, or the ozone is torn

Or spores–Whatever the source, the outside
Can weaken our lungs (no oxygen)
set our skin on fire (fever)…

this future set in some indefinite but
Not too distant novel will count
Cases of immune disorders, and the characters?

Maybe star-crossed lovers or Ponzi schemers–No,

in my mind, I can’t see past the abandoned vehicles
along my streets, small
Tumble weeds rolling around the bowl of

The wide wild death of capitalism.

The only workers are poor
Couriers in tight, black hazmat gear, goggles and masks
tearing through streets loaded with our dinners, Lysol wipes,

TP. They make up our frontline crew,
Separated from their loved ones. No
Soundtrack. I considered a romance plot

lovers
caught by their love in death–No,
the truth is, it’s a large fine for loitering.

The rest of us, imprisoned by social
distancing with perspective to appreciate that
stupid piece of shit truck in front of my house

finally sits silent, stripped of its wheels and mirrors
barely distinguished from the other carcasses lining the sidewalk up
from Bloor street, once roaring, now silent and sweet smelling. No.

That is the fiction, in my back pocket, a
novel I’d write in retirement
under the same old sun. No,

this is not fiction, how mother sea turtles
overtake human beaches while a drone
captures emptied NYC streets with soundtrack.

Given the Circumstances

This entry was posted on by .

Given the Circumstances

we all say now, in light of, as well
as can be, strange days, these
times.
The universe
has no short-term memory.
Each morning we have the grief-
work
of reminding the ravens,
the buried moles of our
losses
and because it’s spring,
the budding poplars, returning
house finches. Each dawn
we must tell the remade
world
our sorrows and
our worries. So
stay safe we
are also saying, and take
care
only this time
we mean something real.

I Took It All For Granted

This entry was posted on by .

Life as a university student is an absolute, never sleeping, always studying, where is my caffeine, level of chaos. As a first-year university student, adjusting to this lifestyle was much more difficult than I had first thought. My first semester came with the thrills of new freedom and an expanding perspective of life and all it had to offer. With these highs came the lows, where tears accompanied thoughts of giving up in the face of midterms, labs, and the never-ending stream of assignments and studying. First semester finally ended, and I had learned so much about myself as a person and as a learner. I had gone through the ringer and came out with better studying habits and was fully prepared to conquer second semester head on.

Second semester was going well, not a 4.0 GPA well, but well. I felt like I was finally starting to realize how this university thing worked. I remember when I started seeing news articles and push notifications about COVID-19. In the beginning, it never crossed my mind how impactful this “foreign” virus would become. As the first case crept into Canada, and then eventually Alberta, the magnitude of the situation seemed to increase with every day. Suddenly, going to campus became a major anxiety in my life as every desk, every door handle, and every person in the hallway became a potentially life-threatening suspicion. I remember talking to my friends during lunch and laughing about how the university would never shut down, because how could they? Two weeks later, at 3am in the morning, I get an email from the University saying classes have been suspended. I read the email and smiled, because it meant I could sleep in for once, but little did I know that I would soon be begging to go back to school.

Doing your classes online is not easy. I had labs this semester that suddenly ended, clubs to go to that were no longer, and friends that I longed to see. To be at home every day and only have that space to do schoolwork is more exhausting than going to campus. I am stuck in my bedroom reading off lecture slides, completing my assignments, and more recently, studying for finals. Most universities in Canada have now implemented credit / no credit marks for courses this semester. Suddenly, that hard work in January through March disappeared, and it was difficult to cope with the fact that I did not need to try so hard anymore. I went from going a mile a minute to practically stop, and that made me spiral into this state of sadness and loss of identity for several weeks. I lost the motivation to study and to even reach out to the friends I was so desperately missing. Finally, I had to tell myself that I needed to find ways to keep myself busy, even if it wasn’t school work, so I could maintain this level of normalcy and structure in my life that I realized I needed.

COVID-19 has already been a life changing event. I did not realize how important school was to me and how going to campus everyday was one of the biggest blessings in my life. I do not see my friends and I have lost the ability to go out and to be social. All those things I took for granted. I have lost both my summer jobs because of COVID-19, and I am now concerned about how I am going to pay for my schooling. All these things have taught me something about myself, but I still worry about the future. There is talk about fall courses being online, and social distancing to continue much longer into the future. As a developing young adult, I feel the need to interact with people and to get outside of my house to grow. It goes without saying, but in times like these, all we can do is learn to adapt.

For My Sister in Her PPE

This entry was posted on by .

For My Sister in Her PPE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, a memory of you, asleep
beside me in the wide bed

in Haileybury, your black
hair fanned out on the pillow

like a split seed.
Do you remember

that house? Where we found
the trunk in the attic, full of fancy

clothes, transformed
to our tickle trunk,

holding costumes
for playing dress up. A drapey

black gown glittering
with its embroidery

of rhinestones, the spike-heeled
shoes, leather worn

to metal nibs, and that chiffon
dress, a pale sea-green like the sky

before a harrowing storm.
Years later, or maybe months,

I wore it when I went
as a fairy for Hallowe’en,

and you in costume too,
not protective gear, of course,

or scrubs, or full face
shield back then, protection

from invisible
dangers, but something

so romantic and silly, more innocent
than I could ever imagine you

opting for now. Remember?

That was the Hallowe’en
we got drenched

while trick-or-treating.
My hand-sewn wings broken

by the wet night, your white
veil sodden with sleet.

(Original link with readers’ comments here.)

Friday

This entry was posted on by .

Friday

We hear of the death of a man.
By key stroke. Counting
Another number. This could be you.
This could be me.

We hide the death of a child.
Deep in the womb. Living
Uneasy. Murdering easy.
Handful of shining clink.

We bear the death of a land.
In black smoke. Coughing. Uprooting
Breath. Limbs limp with fever.
Closed in prayer.

We fear the death of the Word.
By the book/podium/screen. Excising
Tongues. Tearing hearts.
Taped shut.

We hold the death of our God.
Deep in our hearts. Dying.
All that remains. Charred wood.
Grey ash.

—April 17, 2020